Monday Morning Newsletter (03/03/08)

More arrests, breasts, and slanderous jests from Jose Fritz in ye olde Monday Morning Newsletter.

Greg Graffin’s ego expanded recently as he is being honored by the Humanist Chaplaincy and Harvard Secular Society at Harvard University. He is being awarded the 2008 Outstanding Lifetime Achievement Award in Cultural Humanism. An event is scheduled this April. The rest of Bad Religion will continue to be jealous.

After numerous lineup changes through the years, all original Killing Joke members have reunited for a new album and world tour. Drummer Martin Atkins was not invited as he still owes money to all other living members.

Mastodon has recorded a cover of the over-played 1980s hit "One" Thus continuing a tightly held tradition of credible metal bands doing ridiculous cover tunes for comic effect. The single will appear in the ad campaign for the videogame "Army Of Two."

Meshuggah's new album obZen will be in stores March 11th on Nuclear Blast. Fans were comforted in the fact that it sounds like everything else they’ve ever done.

SIS Writer Tom Jönze has taken a sabbatical to begin a tour of the East Coast playing 1940s blues songs about venereal disease and whore-mongering under the name “Old Blind Willy.” Tour dates will be announced shortly.

Jose Fritz has vowed not to cover any news of Amy Winehouse as she is literally smoking crack and missing court dates completely eliminating his normal arenas of comedy.

Recently released documents indicate that Michael Jackson is behind on his mortgage payments to the tune of over $150,000. Pasadena-based mortgage lender IndyMac Bancor will be putting a lean on the 7 million dollar home shortly. Through his press secretary jackson said “ I blame predatory lenders, the man is always trying to hold the brother down. Fight the power!”

Atlanta rockers Black Crowes demanded and got an apology from Maxim magazine over a review of their album Warpaint. The reviewer admitted to only previewing one song before on the unreleased CD before writing the review. Maxim editorial director James Kaminsky responded Tuesday “Come on dude, they’ve sounded the same for twenty years! Chack out the babe on page 17!”