Monday Morning Newsletter (03/17/08)

You have your SXSW hangover and St. Patty's Day hangover, and the only cure for that is Jose Fritz's Monday Morning Newsletter.

Lou Pearlman, the NAMBLA member and former manager of Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync, pleaded guilty to federal charges of money laundering and lying at his bankruptcy hearing. The guilty plea was the end to a federal probe that Pearlman stole over $300 million dollars from banks and investors.

Somebody knocked up Elvis Presley's only child, Lisa Marie Presley. The father is probably Michael Lockwood but might also be one of those Aliens that Elvis used to hang with. Where is world weekly news when you need them?

Scott Weiland has pleaded not guilty to driving under the influence of drugs when he crashed his car in November. Weiland had been arrested on November 21, 2007 after crashing his car on a California highway. In a lengthy statement given by his lawyer he claimed “I did not know that Keith Richard’s dad’s ashes contained actual drugs when I smoked them.”

Announced just this week, the prog-rock impresario band Yes is going to be back on tour. Original members Jon Anderson, Steve Howe, Chris Squire, and Alan White are booking a world tour. This will be their seventeenth reunion tour but the first one in 3 whole years.

The band Guystorm continues to not to exist despite two shows in their imagined hometown of Minneapolis and a gig at WEfest scheduled for May 25th. (Note to all who may think they are real and not figments please check for expired medications in your bathroom cabinets. In the case of accidental ingestion call the Poison control center.)

Inexplicably in the middle of SXSW Rachel Ray held a music showcase. The Beauty Bar will never live down the shame of letting Rachel Ray cater a show in the middle of BBQ country let along host one. The Cringe led by her hubby John Cusimano headlined. He was quoted as saying “Don’t look at me man, I can’t stop her.”

This week Merge Records joined the throngs of indie labels offering digital downloads. They now offer a selection of sides from their current and back catalog in both MP3 and FLAC formats. Label president Mac McCaughan said “Digital downloads are the new black, suing people over a download is so passé.”

SXSW wraps up this week leaving a legion of indie snobs, scensters, hipsters, and music fans bloated, sleep deprived and hung over. Stranded in Stereo Head Editor Dany Sloan was on scene to catch the countrified festivities. After 96 hours of straight rocking Dany was quoted as saying “mmm Frito pie.”

Prostitute Ashley Alexandra Dupre, now famous for banging Governor Spitzer at an hourly rate of over $1000 is now rumored to be signing to Koch records. Her self-released singles "What We Want" and "Move ya Body" have already made it into rotation on the New York pop station WHTZ. PD Sharon Dastur said “even I’d hit that.”