Monday Morning Newsleter (11-17-08)

Today is the birthday of Gordon Lightfoot, the Canadian folk and country singer. He is 70 years old today and despite releasing 20 bland LPs in those decades no one has put him out of his misery. Happy Birthday greetings to Mr. Lightfoot.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame honored Les Paul last week with the 2008 American Music Master award. Hundreds gathered to honor him at the Playhouse Square State Theater in Cleveland, OH. Other Hall of Fame members performed including Duane Eddy, Dennis Coffey and Slash. Way to go Slash, you only look a little out of place there buddy.

José is in mourning this week. Miriam Makeba, the South African, singer died of a heart attack. She performed a full set at an anti-Mafia concert in Itlay then dropped dead. In her heyday she was a badass: in 1976 she addressed the UN to denounce apartheid. The nation of South Africa banned her music and she had to live in exile for over 30 years.

At a concert in Sydney, Australia last week, singer Rihanna suddenly grabbed her stomach and ran off stage. She was in the middle of the song “Umbrella” and was seen to be clutching her stomach moments before the incident. A representative told us that she is not bulimic and is perfectly healthy. José says, lay off the ipecac.

Also ill this week is Mastodon guitarist Bill Kelliher. Kelliher was hospitalized in London for an undisclosed crotch ailment. Doctors will are monitoring his condition which is said to be improving. Mastodon has opted to continue the European Unholy Alliance Chapter 3 package tour as a three-piece.

One-time Jimi Hendrix drummer Mitch Mitchell died this week. He had just completed a tour with the Experience Hendrix project. He is the longest lived member of the original trio, and the only not to die of drugs and alcohol–related causes. He was 62.

You may have read that *NSYNC lip-synch artist Lance Bass has been in cosmonaut training in Russia. On the Tonight Show this week Bass, admitted he is now two inches smaller than he was before he began the program. (Please insert dick joke here) Space suits apply pressure to the body, because of pressure differences. He explained further that his trainers made him a special suit that would contract him in space.

Paula Goodspeed, a Paula Abdul stalker, was found dead near the American Idol judge’s home this week. Goodspeed reportedly died of a drug overdose. Goodspeed actually auditioned for the show back in 2006, and didn’t make it past Simon's wit and gay flamboyance. The police currently consider Paula Abdul a possible suspect.

Rapper Kanye West has been arrested again. This time he “allegedly” assaulted a photographer outside the Tup Tup Nightclub in Newcastle, England. The moody rapper also scuffled with the paparazzi outside the club. Photographer/stalker Terry Blackburn claimed to have been injured in the incident. Police detained West at his hotel but have released him without charge.