Monday Morning Newsletter (06/16/08)

Jose would like to point out that he was wrong two weeks ago: R. Kelly was acquitted this week. This means that it is in fact ok to pee on your 13-year-old groupies and even to video tape it. Lo siento, go forth and be free my urophilic companeros.

Village idiot Nicole LaScalia (no relation to Justice Scalia) is suing Mudvayne, Clear Channel, Korn and Live Nation over a concert injury. On March 8, 2006 LaScalia fractured her leg at the KBPI Birthday Bash. Clear Channel has called the suit “frivolous.” Korn’s management only stated that they “cannot comment further on the suit as it is a legal matter.” Lawyers take all the fun out of a good story.

Black Box Revelation, will begin their first US tour this month. The Belgium-based band only will be in the states long enough to hit the highlights: New York, LA, San Diego, etc. They’ll spend the rest of the time pimping their new album, Set Your Head On Fire. I’ll warn you now these little twerps are all in high school but they also rock like the Stooges.

Scott Weiland and Eric Kretz of Stone Temple Pilots are being sued by their label, Atlantic Records. Atlantic states that Weiland and Kretz owe the label three more album. Members Dean and Robert DeLeo, dropped by Atlantic in 2003, are not named in the suit. If the U.S. third circuit court of appeals can sort this out, the product would be the band’s first album since 2001.

Chris Martin of Coldplay turns out to be a whiney bitch. He stormed out of an interview with John Wilson for BBC Radio 4's cultural arts program, Front Row, after only 9 minutes. Bandmate Will Champion stayed behind to complete the interview. Wilson asked a softball question about the title Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. Martin began crying and stormed out of the studio. Jose sees a future blurb about rehab.

Metallica played an all-classics set at Bonnaroo Friday night presaging their next release. The band has said repeatedly in interviews that it will be a return to their 1980s thrash roots. The album, apparently dubbed Death Magnetic, is due for release in September.

Kanye West didn’t make the same impression. Instead he was two hours late irritating the concert-goers. YouTube is now hosting several dozen grainy videos of the crowd chanting "Kanye sucks" and pelting the empty stage with glow sticks. I didn’t even make up the glow sticks thing. Hippies really do that.

Alanis Morissette got dumped again; do we get to look forward to another album of girl-angst? Ex-boyfriend Ryan Reynolds ditched her for Scarlett Johansson (can’t fault him there.) Sadly the new album released this week seems to be another 12 songs of Buddhist mumbling about peace and harmony. Hunt that girl down! Jose wants to see a catfight!